Live Life The Way It Should Be Lived: When Parents Give Good Advice...

When parents give good advice, how can the kids not turn out great?

AIGA Houston Chip Kidd Event, originally uploaded by AIGA Houston.

Zoe, Chestburster

When we saw Zoe, the way her onesie bunched up looked like she had an alien trying to escape from her chest.

Zoe, Chestburster, originally uploaded by Mr. Kimberly.

Nice to know that we aren't the only warped parents out there.

"Let Me Tell You A Secret I Wish I Knew At Your Age"

Saw this while channel surfing, couldn't get it out of my head. Catchy song from "The Whitest Kids U'Know" I hope my kid never hears.

"Get a New Daddy"

How Could God Let Me Have a Child After This Blog Post?!!!

"Shaking the life-sized infant simulator is disturbing. Watching the damage progress across the brain through illuminated LEDs is powerful. Hearing the piercing cry abruptly stop is devastating. There’s no denying the instant and permanent effects of shaking a helpless baby when this new, electronic simulator is in your hands."

I am a horrible person, because I thought this could be turned into a videogame. CPS: Baby-Shakerz for the Wii, maybe?

Admit it, if you had my wife's email, you would try to convince her to leave me!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thingamababy: Hands-on Education: Shaken Baby Syndrome Simulator

Baby Be Of Use: Books and Products for Useful Kids

Way before a baby of our own was on its way, I used to joke about having a productive baby. I suggested a way for the kid to work on mobility and dexterity while providing a service around the house: a onesie made out of mop-cloth. Genius, I thought!

As with most things, the Japanese beat me to it.

Picture from AsianJoke.com.

All I can say is my baby mop looked better than the one above. I know the kid will be cuter.

As for educating the baby for other tasks, I found a great set of instructional guides by Lisa Brown.

Found on McSweeney's

While on vacation this summer, we took Baby Mix Me a Drink to show friends. Their amazing, great 6-year-old daughter wanted to have a look at it. After reading the whole thing, she looks at my wife (who explained what a Champagne Cocktail was) and said something like, "A baby can't make drinks, this is a book for older kids," (Who, we all know, can make a mean Old Fashioned [page 8].)

I plan on a preschooler who can mix a SoCo Manhattan for Daddy.

3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
2 - 1/2 oz Southern Comfort
Cherry

Good, kid -- keep the tip!