Friday, December 12, 2008

Housewives and Beer Drinkers of Houston: Reality. Really? Really!

Part 1:
My dream reality show: "Hour of Power with Dave and Rachael," hosted by Dave Attell (accomplished alcoholic/comedian and former host of Insomniac with Dave Attell) and Rachael Ray (bubbly, bouncy, mini-Martha Stewart and good-time gal).  Dave and Rachael pound a shot of beer every minute for an hour and take on various food and strange social quests in a new city every episode.  No city has a population more than 200,000 and none of them are in English speaking countries.

Hilarity ensues.

Part 2:
The wife and I were at our respective computers, when she started snickering.

She says, "They're going to be filming the "Real Housewives of Houston."

Dear God, why?!! Why must we know about more pneumatic, highlighted, shrill, soon-to-be ex-trophy wives and their compulsive consumption and laughable "talents"? The only thing good about the timing of this new show might be how the rich and shallow handle (or don't handle) the impending economopocalypse (financial meltdown). Oh, the tragedies that will ensue!  See how the folks of River Oaks survive with all that they hold dear.

"How can I be seen in a 2-door Bentley? What will the neighbors think?"


My wife thinks I should try to get on the show, seeing as how I am a househusband and baby wrangler. Let's look at the show's  Craigslist posting and see how I do...

Veteran Hollywood Reality TV Producer is casting NOW for:
Real Housewives of Houston

Ladies, we are looking for REAL women of Houston.
- Totally sexist!

* 20-50 yrs old
- Sadly closer to 50 than 20 :(

* Group of 4-8 friends
- Hmm... nope.

Looking for fun, outgoing, photogenic, attractive Houston ladies who all lead
real, interesting, lives.
- I blog and surf the internet ALL the time!  That would make for great TV!

* A flair for TEXAS styles and TEXAS fashions a must
- When I show up in my denim miniskirt, cowboy boots, a longhorn's shirt and rhinestone earrings, I'll be a total shoe-in.  What else would a person from California expect a Texan housewife to wear?

Once again I'm sure my feelings about humanity will be reconfirmed when Bravo starts airing this quality new show. But something tells me that there will be some televised entertainment about the men of Houston that will be equally deserving of snark.

Attn: Male Beer Drinkers between the ages of 25-34

We are recruiting for 4hr focus groups, on the 16 December, in the Houston area. In the group you will share your beer drinking experience and expertise. If you are selected you will be compensated for your time. All participation is confidential.

If interested please contact us by emailing leaving:

Your name
Your age
Your Location (City you reside)
Best phone number to reach you:
Best time to call:
Best email to reach you:

Please feel free to pass this on to friends that you think might qualify

I'll totally do that!

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